April 2011
March 2011
Hollowed out eyes
stare through the window
watching
beautiful little figures
in white
dance to the ground
wishing
to be out there
cradling the figures
in an open palm
feeling
them melt in hair
on eyelashes
in outstretched hands
knowing
that those perfect little figures
will never be whole again
The wind
rushes in my ears
as I pass the world by
I catch clips
of songs playing
into open air
the taste of spring
sparkles on my tongue
and the bittersweet feeling
of power
presses on my chest
the freedom
the responsibility
the air all around me
I am infinite
I’ve been feeling okay happy a lot more recently, mostly thanks to my friends. Without them, the tide would have swept me away for sure. My friends are my anchors, and they keep me pretty much in reality when I want to be, and out of reality when it gets too much.
This weekend was one of the best weekends I’ve had in a long time, I had time to just relax and enjoy a few of my favorite...
I want to feel wanted.
I love feeling wanted.
Sometimes when inspiration hits, it comes smooth and slow, like a long lost lover walking into your room, sliding next to you on your bed, caressing your leg and gently kissing up your shoulder, onto your neck, and running their fingers through your hair as they tell you ever so softly how much they yearn for your reciprocating touch to illuminate your thoughts onto their bare skin.
Sometimes...
Roses are red, violets are blue, if Rebecca Black...
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Today is another struggle. Maybe it’s the weather, maybe it’s just this series of unfortunate events that seem to be haunting me, or maybe it’s the way I’m trying to cope just completely shitting out. Regardless, today is a rough day.
I wish it was easier for me to talk to people, and easier for me to get back up when I’m pushed down. It’s really hard to get...
I decided that today is the day to perfect that song for my best friend. I’m going to play it for him on my guitar as a surprise, but I’m failing. Mostly because I completely forgot I can’t sing worth shit, but he would probably like it more if I belted it out at the top of my lungs and sucked than if I sang quietly and let my guitar do the talking. So I’ll take one for the...
School.
I want out. I’m so done dealing with shitty and pretentious professors who don’t like “lowering themselves to the level of the student.” Funny thing about classes is that I take them because I don’t know the subject material. Don’t try to fucking teach me as though I’ve gone through getting a doctorate in the field just like they did, I know next to...
Tonight was a fun night. The black tie gala event that my wonderful photographer took me to made me feel human again, and the actors (although they appreciated getting their egos stroked) were quick to compliment and make funny jokes, so it was nice to be among strangers and not feel like a freak.
Tonight, I felt successful.
Being with the wrong people is like wearing too...
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This is so true, and I know that I’m better off without him because I was never that comfortable with the things we did.
I have felt like shit for way too long. It’s not even like I wake up every morning thinking, “Oh yeah, today’s gonna be another shitfest. Joy.”
I WANT TO BE HAPPY! I want nothing more than to wake up and stay happy for a full day, I don’t even mind if I don’t sleep well that night.
Tonight, I’m going clubbing with one of my really sexy friends (not just...
